


Bad Muffin Puns Made Phil Flee The Awkwardness

by natigail



Series: Phan Tweet Dabbles [26]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017!Phan, Awkwardness, Bad Puns, Cookies, M/M, Misunderstandings, based on a tweet, dabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 21:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12219648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natigail/pseuds/natigail
Summary: The list of reasons why Dan shouldn't go out in public seemed ever growing. Now he could add makes terrible puns that shut down baristas and cause Phil to run away to that list.





	Bad Muffin Puns Made Phil Flee The Awkwardness

_Based on the following tweet:_

 

 

_**17th of August 2017** _

Dan and Phil didn’t actually go to coffee shops that often and this was the exact reason why.

It was a Café Nero that they had been to multiple times and now Dan could definitely never show his face there again. Honestly, at some point he would said something awkward in every single place in London and be forced to never leave his home.

Well, he didn’t most time anyway but clearly that was for the best.

It had been late afternoon when Dan and Phil had decided to pop in to the place for a treat. Dan wanted his usual drink and Phil was craving a cookie. There wasn’t really a time when Phil wasn’t craving something sweet to munch on. The man had no self-control when it came to treats.

Whenever either of them had brought any kind of sweets into their home, Phil would sniff it out and munch on it all throughout the day until it were no more.

They queued up like the polite Brits that they were and were met with a male barista who looked like a hipster and seemed bubbly and friendly, which already made Dan nervous. He wasn’t good at dealing with outgoing people, though he ordered his drink without a problem and Phil ordered his cookie.

Dan did feel a little famished, so he scanned the counters to see what kind of treat he could get himself. It had been a long day after all and being both social and outside was the perfect excuse to indulge in a cake of some sorts.

“Those muffins look good,” Dan commented, more thinking out loud than intending for anyone to hear, let alone comment on.

“Well, they are so muffIN right now,” the barista replied cheekily and Dan cracked a weak smile at the pun.

He could play the pun game too, so he said the first thing that came to mind.

“Mmm, get muffINSIDE ME,” he joked and the barista just froze.

It was like he was a computer programme that had just stopped functioning and he was flashing the error screen. Dan could feel Phil tense next to him, and saw him out of the corner of his eye as he cringed.

His pun had been solid, hadn’t it? He’d thought so but apparently it had broken the barista.

“So one muffin added. Anything else?” he asked and Dan just shook his head too scared to open his mouth.

The barista moved aside to make the order and Phil was cringing up a storm next to Dan. He couldn’t deal with awkwardness very well, even though he created awkward situations himself all the time. As subtle as he could, which probably wasn’t subtle at all, he just ducked out and moved away from Dan.

Another barista stepped up and said the total and Dan paid as fast as he could before retreating to find out where Phil had gone. Dan was still just mentally preparing for himself that he could never go back to this place, yet another casualty of his awkwardness. Much like the place where he’d randomly shouted, “chicken!” when someone asked what kind of drink he wanted because he’d the Cow and Chicken theme tune stuck in his head.

“What? You just left me up there, Phil!” Dan complained and smacked Phil’s arm.

“Sorry!” Phil exclaimed. “But get muffINSIDE me? Really, Dan? Really?”

“What? It was a solid pun. It’s not my fault that he didn’t appreciate it! He started it with a pun of his own.”

Phil just shook his head but he was wearing that goofy smile he always sported when Dan did something that Phil found endearing. It didn’t mean Dan was ready to forgive Phil for just bolting on him.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve stood by your side when you’ve said something awkward? Hundreds of times, Lester. You don’t leave a man behind. You stick together,” Dan argued. “And I bought your cookie. You’re welcome.”

“Thanks, Dan. I’ll pay you back if you need me to, as an excuse for leaving you,” Phil said with fake sincerity.

They had firmly lost track of what they technically owed each other. They shared a home and so many things and they just made sure they roughly divided the expenses. None of them were pity enough to care about the price of a cookie, unless to prove a point, of course.

“No,” Dan shrugged. “Just don’t leave me alone next time.”

Dan’s name was called and he went to retrieve his drink and his and Phil’s baked goods.

“So…” Phil asked after Dan had taken his first bite. “How does it feel to have it muffINSIDE you?”

“You’re terrible,” Dan said and chewed on the admittedly delicious muffin. He could see why they were popular. “It was a solid pun.”

“Whatever you say,” Phil said cheerfully as he took another bite of his cookie.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, that it's two days later than originally planned. I've been so caught up in university work lately. But I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know your thoughts? It was one of the more difficult dabbles to get down, but I think it turned out alright.


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